The Things We Do.

So, ahem....ok......I'll just ....cut to the chase - FAKE CONVERSATIONS
Isnt there something really fun about them, oh-so- thrilling? More so if carried out in public? What if you get caught? - the phone begins to ring or it suddenly switches to loud mode? (!!) What excuse can you possibly give for chattering away merrily when no one else is on the line?!

But I bet you are willing to risk it when situations like the following crop up.
Akward Situation
You are talking to your best friend. Right in the deep end of it..bang! One of his/her friends (who is no friend of yours - yeah Murphy's Law pal!) comes along. Worse...they both talk in their vernacular language.(Aaaaargh!!) So you can either:-

1. Stand around giving polite listless smiles (which only lasts for that long before someone mistakes you as suffering from facial palsy.)
2. Look for an opening so that you can swoop into the aforementioned conversation which never comes (they are chattering away in vernacular, remember?)
3. Unless ofcourse you are willing to try something really outrageous like.... "I've always wanted to learn Telegu/Bengali/etc. Teach me. NOW!" Trust me, thats guarranteed to ensure instant attention - of the medical kind!

OR
You could simply flip out your cellphone

1. "Hello? *get up from the chair*
2. "Hie!!!" *move away from best friend and interrupting jerk*
3. "Right now?" *look for the nearest exit route*
4. "Ok." *keep walking*

:D

Why-Am-I-Talking-To-You? Situation
" And then finally my tonsils got inflamed and I ended up having a runny nose. (No shit! Really?!) I would wipe it with a handkerchief cause when I do it with a tissue I blow so hard, the phlem seeps through the paper and then it comes on to my fingers which is really gross (Seriously? Grosser than this story you insist on narrating me?!) So that's why I use a handkercheif of towel material but then then the fabric hardens because the phlemn dries (I can't hear a thing! LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!!) and then my nose gets a rash........."

To ESCAPE all of the above and fast!
Simply flip out your cellphone and repeat steps 1-4. Oh! and skip steps 1-3. :P

Please-Notice-I'm-So-Cool Situation
Finally...not very sure how this is gonna look. But..what the hell!
So this hot girl/guy is totally checking you out (By the way - Hypothetical Situation. Hot people are usually too self-absorbed to be checking out anyone except themselves) How do you show you are totally checkable? (Did I just invent a word? Did I just deviate?)

Flip out your cellphone and walk back and forth gabbing in English (always in English!), raise your volume, laugh a lot (not like a hyena) and spout all sorts of cool sounding phrases like :-
"Puhleeze!"
Whatever!"
"Awesome!"
"Totally!"
P.S. : These almost never work. Yet its entertaining to see people try (oh-so-hard!). Personally I would rather a person flirt right back rather than jump verbal hoops with his/her cellphone. Bleh! But then, thats what I think! :)