"You used to share every little thing about your life with me, Khushi. But ever since you entered college, you seem to have got so easily detached from your home and family. And me."
"Oh come on mummy! It's all a part of growing up. Of becoming independent. Don't we all grow up? I can't stay a kid forever, can I?"
"You'll remain a kid for me always, Khushi beta. Even when you become a granny."
"Yeah I know that mum. And please don't say that I've got detached from you all. You can see for yourself, college life ain't like school life. I get back home pretty late. And then... "
"And then, you either sleep or switch on the computer. And sit there in your room till dinner time when I have to call you a hundred times," Khushi, have your food! ... Khushi have your food!", right?".
"Oh please! Don't start it all over again. Am fed up. Good night!!" Khushi muttered her last words, ending the argument, that had taken place the nth time ever since she came into college, and banged close the door of her room quite loud. Real loud.
"Am fed up too. But you don't seem to be able to understand..............", mom heaved a deep sigh, not of relief, but of exhaustion. Of worry.
"I don't know how to explain it to her! Everyone gets busy with their own lives in college, am being no different. Not that I don't love my family now! Huh!!" she grumbled in frustration, while setting her blanket right, preparing to doze off, bringing the hectic day to an end, quite early today. Since the internet wasn't working.
Mom sure wasn't completely wrong.
Lights off.
Blanket on.
Silence.
Good night.
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"Finally gonna be home early today! Gonna make mom happy. Yay! Will make her some tea, chat with her for a while. And only then get back to the regular. Hehehe....sounds good....hmmm......", Khushi thought to herself, sitting in the bus, that was going to drop her home pretty early today. Mass bunks help, don't they? There were going to be no bitter arguments today. No complaints.
"Darn! The door's locked. She's out. Umm.....never mind, I'll keep the tea and snack ready and then when she comes, 'surprise'!", Khushi smiled in her thoughts, as she unlocked the doors to enter the empty house.
Everything was falling in place as planned. She tidied up the house a little bit. A cup of tea, with a lid over it to keep it hot, along with some snack, was waiting on the table for mom. And so was Khushi.
Love is all about little surprises, some smiles and lots of warmth and care. And for a child, a son or a daughter, nothing beats the sense of pride and the glint of extreme happiness that he or she gets, on seeing his/her mother smiling. Smiling, 'coz of something they did for her.
A child's surprise, innocent.
Rare, but full of care.
Backed by the desire to be 'THE BEST' daughter or son. Unaware, that for a mother, her child will always be the best. Better than the rest of the world.
It was a daughter's emotions that were keeping her spirits so pumped up for such a small thing.
Nevertheless, she waited.
And she waited.
Waited some more.
And fell asleep. On the table itself, with her head gently resting on the back of her palms.
No doubt, every second of a wait for someone loved seems to last a life time. The worst test of one's patience. But the best test for love. 'Coz the heart still knows, one glance of the person, is worth the apparently infinite longing. In the end, it's love which will make it all seem so finite.
Khushi woke up to the loud irking rings of the telephone. Getting up from the table, as she rubbed on her eyes with her fists, the wall clock came into sight. It was 12 A.M, and mom definitely still wasn't there. The tea lay there, untouched, now turned poison. The snack, cold and un-eatable. But obviously the question was, "Still not home, is mom okay?!"
"Hello?"
"Yeah, this is her daughter. May I know who am I talking to?"
"WHAT! look, whoever you are, this is no joke! God will punish you for this!!"........ some more shouts, howls, cries and questions later, the phone receiver lay hanging by the table.
And Khushi, expressionless, clueless, sat on the floor. Crouched in one corner. Her hands covering her mouth, left open in disbelief. Slightly shivering.
She was all lost.
She had lost herself.
She had lost the one the tea and snack had turned cold, while waiting for.
She had lost her mother.
She had lost, her world.
Pages of her memories seemed to be flipping over again and again. Deepening wounds that had come up suddenly, from nowhere. Marring her soul. Scarring her life.
Scenes from the past were passing by with the speed of light, in front of her bewildered eyes.
The hug that had always welcomed her at the door, on coming back from school.
And the questioning eyes that would stare so badly if she got late.
The worried scoldings when she had scored her lowest ever, in Maths, in 6th standard.
And the sense of pride that gleamed bright, on seeing the trophies Khushi had been awarded, for topping in the board exams in her school, both the times.
The tears that had rolled by day and night, as she lay in one room of the house, isolated. Suffering from the worst form of Chicken Pox. Worried for her present and her future.
And the NO JUNK FOOD instructions.
The unasked for homemade remedies and tips on how to look prettier.
And the 'pay more attention to studies, than your fashions!' lectures.
The anger. And the hugs.
The kisses. And the tears.
The care. And the worries.
The lectures. And the stories.
How many such instances could she dig out from heaps of dusted, faded memories, that she had never cared for, before?
How could she find out the weight of her mother's love, NOW, that she was no longer there with her?
How could she thank god for giving her the most priceless possession of her life, when she no longer possessed it?
Questions came flooding. Answers were nowhere to be seen.
Tears wash away fears. And sorrows. But an eternal loss is eternal. It cannot be washed away. There is only a finite level of despair that can make us cry. Beyond it, there's stark loneliness, grief. And no tears. Yeah, she just couldn't cry.
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Baffled, she woke up with near teary eyes and a gravely tense look. The blanket went flying off to the floor and Khushi ran for her life, till she was standing besides her mother in her room, offering countless prayers of gratefulness to the almighty. Her eyes refused to look elsewhere, they were searching for an assurance, only that calm face could offer.
"I love you mom", Khushi whispered. Old eyes do not sleep the sleep of a baby. Mom woke up and was about to raise her questions, but Khushi interrupted.
"Mom, can I sleep with you tonight?"
"Of course baby, come. But what happened, you woke up to some nightmare?
"I love you mommy. You mean the world to me. Please never leave me alone. Never ever.", Khushi murmured with almost teary, closed eyes and a pale smile.
"Aww no, I won't leave you ever. You are my world beta!". She was puzzled, but still knew, all that her daughter needed then was assurance. And the sudden splurge of love had only heartened her more.
"You know baby, you're such a kid. An innocent kid."
"I'll always be so for you mommy. Even when I become a granny".
She grinned naughtily and slept the most peaceful sleep, in the world's safest place.
- Her mother's arms.
PS- Love is a feeling. An emotion. Expressing it won't add anything to it, nor would not expressing it take anything from it away. But, no one is going to stay with us forever. So leave no chance to tell the ones you love, how much you value them. Time waits for none, you being no exception. So love the loved as much as you can, lest you have to repent later. For even as we continue to pray for some-ONE, some others continue to care for us, ignored yet uncomplaining.
It takes just a few words, a hug, a kiss or a simple gesture to show to someone priceless, their value in your life. Love is simple and priceless. You just need to love it.
Dedicated to the one I love the most. The person who is easiest to make happy. A hug is all that it takes.
